Sometimes the grass is greener, my brothers and I can testify to that. But it ain't always easy to get where you want to be, here are my top tips on making a change. 1. Do your research Are these pastures you want to go to really better? How can you be sure? Ask people that have grazed on them, read some reviews, take a day trip and try them out for yourself. 2. Be prepared It's scary when you come up against something blocking your path - like a huge, hungry troll. But make sure you think through all possible eventualities and.... 3. Make a plan Do you think my brothers and I just blindly stumbled across that bridge one after the other? No. We thought it through, we worked out our plan of action and we carried it out to a successful conclusion. 4. Push on through I guarantee there will be at least one moment when you want to turn back, quit, give up your dream. But don't. Dig deep, remember why you're doing it and push on through the hard times... it'll be worth it. 5. Bring those you love Every day I thank my lucky clovers that I get to live where the grass is greener. But I would be miserable if I wasn't sharing it with my brothers. What's the point of a new great life if you're alone? Good luck and remember every journey starts with a single hoof step.
Billy Goat Gruff (the Elder)
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People often ask me how I manage to show my face in the forest after the unfortunate bear incident. I tell them, it's easy - if you follow my tips. 1. Say Sorry Nine times out of ten this helps. Sometimes the bears don't speak English and chase you out of their home screaming and running. But it's worth a try, right? 2. Fix It Crack out your tools, set the pot on the stove, hit the shops and have a go at fixing / replacing whatever you broke. 3. Be Perfect Smile, sing, bring porridge and never get caught doing anything bad ever again. You'll have those bears eating out of the palm of your hand in no time. 4. Forgive Yourself If you could take it back and not go into that house, you probably would, right? So don't beat yourself up. It's not like you really did anything that bad... 5. Move On Be Like Elsa and Let It Go. I mean, who leaves their front door open anyway? So that's it, next time you make a mistake, follow the above tips and you'll be skipping through forests again in no time.
The deep, dark woods are no joke. When Gretel and I were lost, we survived through luck, wit and grit. Here are our top five survival tips for when your father 'accidentally' loses you in the woods. 1. Don't trust anybody When our Dad asked us to go for a walk in the woods with him, we assumed this would be a nice family outing. It wasn't. He waited until we fell asleep and then left us. Luckily, we were on to him and had left a trail of breadcrumbs so we could find our way home, which brings me to point two... 2. Protect your breadcrumbs Unfortunately, our breadcrumbs were gobbled up by a greedy bird. To prevent this, I suggest coating your breadcrumbs in poison. Gretel says that's cruel and you should consider using something birds won't eat, like paint on stones or chalk marks through the woods... (shame she didn't think of that earlier.) 3. Stick together You'll probably want to blame your sister for being stupid enough to leave breadcrumbs that got eaten and then suggesting chalk, when we have none. But try to keep your angry words brief. You're going to need her, not least because it gets cold in the deep, dark woods at night and you'll need to huddle together for warmth. 4. Assume the worst A few days into our ordeal Gretel and I came across a house made entirely of sweets. We should have known all was not what it seemed, but we were greedy and foolish. Don't be like us, if it looks too good to be true, it probably is. 5. Witches can be outwitted So the worst has happened and you find yourself at the mercy of a witch who is fattening you up to eat you. Don't panic. Keep on your guard and wait... at some point witches always make mistakes. Be ready to strike and in the meantime enjoy the food. Good luck!
And don't forget to tell us how your ordeal went and how you got out of it. Hansel (with a very small - almost not worth mentioning - amount of help from Gretel) I made my fortune by trusting the power of beans... and you can do the same. Just follow my simple tips and you'll see the gold come rolling in. (If you really want to be successful, you must buy my book, in which I tell you all about how I got super wealthy and offer patronising and pompous tips so that you can try to do the same). 1. Picking your beans You'll know you're onto a winner when you find beans no one else wants. If everyone says you are mad for wasting your money on useless beans, relax - this is the exactly what you should buy. Don't do any research, trust the dodgy salesman, especially if he tells you the beans are magic. The fact is magic is real and only he knows about it. 2. Investment The most important thing you must do when buying beans, is make sure you pay an extortionate amount - whether it be all your savings, the deeds to your land or your only cow. You've got to commit everything to this, if you truly want it to pay off. 3. Care You must treat your beans with absolute disgust. Assume they will do nothing for you. Shout at them if you like. Tell them their worthless and throw them away (out of a window is best). 4. Grow If you've taken the steps above then your beans will grow all by themselves. They will magically sprout - probably overnight. This is the best thing about my method - you don't have to do a thing. Just go to bed and in the morning your beans will have sprouted into a magical beanstalk. If this doesn't happen, then go back and re-do steps 1-3, make sure you fully commit to what you're doing - the magic only works if it's all you have left. 5. Follow your beanstalk to success If you followed steps 1-4 correctly, you now have a beanstalk that will take you to a land filled with treasures for the taking. Don't worry about giants, they deserve deserve everything they get. How do you thing us rich, successful people make all our money... we take what we want of course. Good luck :0) And remember, if this doesn't make you as rich and successful as me, it's because you've done something wrong and probably don't deserve it. If you're serious about transforming your life sign up to my overpriced and under prepared training videos, I can take your money and make you see everything that's wrong about you.
To write about every inspirational woman would be to write about every woman who is, has or will live. All women are equally wonderful in their own unique ways so this is not a 'top five' list but simply a look at the stories of five amazing women, whose brilliance overcame obstacles and left (or will leave) a lasting impression on the world. ![]() 1. Helen Keller Helen Keller went blind and deaf at 19 months. For most, at the time, this would have been the end of any aspirations for an affective life in the world. But at six Helen began learning to communicate through touch and was educated first by a private tutor, then at a school for the blind and finally graduated as the first blind-deaf person to gain a Bachelor of Arts. Keller went on to become a public speaker and activist, for women's rights and for the working classes. She was an icon for the deaf community and spoke about the joy she found in life. Perhaps the most inspirational thing of all about Keller is that she said... "Helping others was the key to lasting happiness." ![]() 2. Malala Yousafzai At just eleven years old, young Malala began blogging from her home in Pakistan where she was under Taliban rule. Malala believed in education for children and girls but this was something the Taliban was against. In an attempt to silence her, the Taliban boarded her school bus and shot her. Surviving the shooting, Malala has gone on to campaign passionately for children and girls' right to an education. She was the youngest ever winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, named three times as one of the globe's most influential people, has published two books and did this all before she was 18. Malala now studies at Oxford University, her story has only just begun. ![]() 3. Marie Curie Marie Curie was a Polish born scientist whose passion for her subject saw her overcoming early grief (she lost her mother at 12), poverty (although from an educated family they were cripplingly poor), gender discrimination (her husband had to fight to get her the credit for her work) and an inner battle against frequent depressive spells. Curie's work in physics and chemistry led her to become the first female professor at the University of Paris and to win not just one Nobel Prize, but two (the first and only woman to do this). Her work has had a huge impact on the scientific world and continues to this day. ![]() 4. Temple Grandin Temple Grandin not only barged through the barriers put up against women in the sciences, engineering and livestock worlds, but was also one of the first people with autism to speak publicly about her experiences. An advocate and role model for people on the autistic spectrum, Temple Grandin has brought empathy into the cattle industry, with her inventions that help calm and relieve stress to cattle in their last moments. Grenadine had it tough, having to navigate a world that was hostile to her senses as well as hostile to her personally. But she overcame all those obstacles and her words, "Different, not less," are an inspiration and lesson for us all. ![]() 5. Beatrix Potter Best known for her stories of Peter Rabbit and friends, Potter was a home-educated girl who loved science. Her studies of mycology (fungi) earned her respect amongst scientists and her drawings are still used today by mycologists. Potter was rejected by a number of publishers and so self-published The Tale of Peter Rabbit, which was quite successful (if you count selling 45 million copies, spawning a TV series, film and international franchise as successful). One of the most inspiring things about Potter was her passion for the countryside. During her life, Potter used her money to buy up farmland which, on her death, she bequeathed to the National Trust, preserving and safeguarding those environments for years to come . I'm sure you can think of and know many inspirational women, not just famous ones, but people that inspire you every day. Never let anyone tell you women are not as good. All my love, Athena xx |
AuthorVicky McFarland Archives
June 2018
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